is love real?
every time i think i have the loml they turn out to only love me then tell me they dont deserve me.
im never chosen. people come to bask in the love that i give then choose to leave every time.
whats it giving?
im starting to think i did something in my past life to not receive love.
im starting to believe that my love is a repellant.
why dont they stay when i love but got back or keep choosing what hurts?
a man living with his family and coming to me telling me that he loves me. he needs me. he doesnt want to lose me.
but yet he wont choose me.
i thought he was the only one.
but nah.
every last one wants to love me and bask in the love i give. but i never get to actually be chosen.
i guess thats the name of the game.
i was married.
had the children.
did everything “right”
and still.
i guess thats the name of the game huh?
nobody fucking loves you while being the one to always introduce the love they always wanted.
im losing hope.
im losing.
im tired of losing in love.
one day soon, i want to win. i want to have the changed and magical life i deserve.
i dont know when thats going to happen but soon i have my happily ever after.
with a man that knows what he wants.
untethered from all past relationships.
no longer entertaining or looking for anything outside of me.
that man is looking for me.
healing for me.
growing for me.
choosing me with his mind body and spirit.
not worried about whos looking at him.
ready to heal with me.
ready to grow financially for me.
ready to teach me and learn from me.
ready to speak to his ancestors and the Divine Mother on my behalf.
when he’s ready.
i’m ready for him.